As a die-hard Baltimore Ravens fan, certainly Id like to ease into a 5-year, 40-million dollar deal with my boys in purple (though blue better complements my skin tone). Andrew Robertson Liverpool Jersey . The club has a need at starting left tackle — with Eugene Monroe potentially on the move — and the entire offensive line is in disarray. Still, I tell myself, Ive got to stay open to possibilities. So Ive hired an agent. He keeps insisting hes not the type of agent Im seeking, and really wants me to check out a fully furnished 2-bedroom condo he wont stop talking about. His name is Gary Maguire and theres just something exciting about him. Maybe its the crazy look in his eyes. Maybe its that he keeps repeating "help me, help you". Whatever it is, he really gets me: Maguire: You dont look like an NFL player.Gallay: I get that a lot.Maguire: Not sure youre even muscular enough to be an NFL fan.Gallay: Im going to put my clothes back on.Maguire: Shouldnt you declare for the draft first—not free agency?Gallay: Theres too much running at the Scouting Combine. Not my strong suit.Maguire: So how am I going to pitch you to NFL front offices? What are your skills?Gallay: Im tenacious. Im focused. I cant catch a football, but I can clumsily swat at other people playing football. My wife says Im in the way a lot, so I plan on using that to my advantage. Im also dangerously delusional. (I hand him a doctors note.)Maguire: Fine. Ive seen more done with less. Lets talk staging. After discussing mortgage pre-approval for some reason, he and I come up with a plan. He explains to me how most NFL offensive linemen are well over six feet tall, roughly 300-350 pounds, a decade younger than me, and likely had a successful college career followed by some prior success in the NFL. I explain to him that Im not like other people. We settle on agreeing Im a maverick and get to work. "First, you need to put on 165 pounds." I tell him no problem, I did it once, I can do it again. He advises me Ill have to do it in under 35 years this time. Ideally hed like me to hit the target weight by mid-afternoon. Im on it, I holler, through large bites of tofurkey. He stops me as I head towards the bathroom, reminding me I cant afford to lose any weight today. "Next, you need to grow five inches, possibly seven." I explain to him that my whole allure is quarterbacks will have no problem seeing over top of me. Of the other significant O-line free agents, Branden Albert is 65. So is Eugene Monroe. And Rodger Saffold. Jared Veldheer is 68! My shortness and poor posture is EXACTLY how Im gonna differentiate myself from those terrifying brutes! Maguire is unconvinced, so I grudgingly step into the medieval stretching machine he found on Kijiji. It smells of pine wood and suffering, which Im told is exactly what Vince Lombardis station wagon smelled like. "Your hands are too small. Left tackles have huge mitts." Thats the least of my worries, I explain, as I wrap 50 yards of tape to my left hand. Well just tell coaches I have a sprained thumb and I should be better in 2-4 years. Everyone in the NFL is nursing an injury. Shows Im tough. "What about your embarrassing lack of football knowledge and acumen? You just called a touchdown a Pass-The-Liney-Scorey." Ill give it to Maguire, hes asking all the right questions. I explain how I consume 8 hours of NFL Network every day, a claim which seems to impress him. Also, Im able to name four other offensive linemen, none of them John Madden, which is more than 98% of football fans. (To be fair, since nobody knows their names, Maguire cant verify if Richie Incognito is an actual human being.) "Last thing. What do we do about your, um, advanced age?" No problem, I tell him. Im going to change my name to Stanislav Gomez, a young Cuban defector. (I figure if Oscar Isaac, a multi-talented Cuban-Guatemalan, can play a spot-on pasty neurotic Jew in Inside Llewyn Davis, surely I can do the opposite.) We both nod in unison, followed by an enthusiastic slow clap. Time to show me the money, Maguire. He advises me to not say anything else until Ive contacted a copyright attorney. And here we are, Tuesday, March 11, the opening salvo for NFL free agency. I see that Alterraun Verner my fellow hot commodity free agent has been tweeting bible verses to me (and all his followers) for the past several hours. My Verner Mountain Dog, what a joker! Gosh, I hope we land on the same team. Anyway, I better tweet him back before he gets worried. Also, I better get some rest (Im super fat now). Whatever happens, Im not worried. Its like my dad has always told me, worst comes to worst you fall back on your education. Thank goodness I got that Division I degree in sports anthropology. (Maguire knows a guy who knows a guy who is gonna get me a diploma.) Gonna be a big year. Gallays Poll #2 Which situation would be the best fit for Gallay? a) A multi-year deal with his favourite organization, the Baltimore Ravens (said every Steeler fan).b) Drawing five-pointed stars hoping the Devil shows up offering a deal.c) Pulling out of free agency until 2015 to realize all his goals in intramural soccer baseball.d) Discussing his dosage level with a trained professional. Daniel Sturridge Liverpool Jersey . Gough finished in fourth, 0.433 seconds behind American Erin Hamlin, who took the bronze medal at the Sanki Sliding Center in Rzhanaya Polyana. Danny Ings Jersey . The CFL club is making the move after holding its camp and regular-season practices at the University of Toronto campus in Mississauga, Ont. http://www.liverpoolgear.us/Authentic-Kamil-Grabara-Liverpool-Jersey/ .ca presents a week long look at some of the teams and stories that will shape the up coming campaign.ST. LOUIS -- Adrian Gonzalez hit a tiebreaking single in the ninth inning off St. Louis Cardinals closer Trevor Rosenthal and the Los Angeles Dodgers salvaged the finale of a three-game series with a 4-3 victory on Sunday night. The Dodgers pulled into a virtual tie for first place with San Francisco in the NL West despite a so-so outing from Clayton Kershaw, whose run of seven straight starts allowing one or fewer runs came to an end. Yasiel Puig did not play after getting hit by a pitch on the left hand a day earlier and the Dodgers finished without Hanley Ramirez, who was taken out in the ninth -- also after getting struck on the left hand. Gonzalez leads the National League with 38 road RBIs. He missed a chance earlier, flying out with the bases loaded to end the fourth. J.P Howell (2-3) got the last out in the eighth and Kenley Jansen finished for his 28th save in 31 chances. Rosenthal (1-5) struggled pitching on the third consecutive day after earning saves the first two games. Peter Bourjos two-run homer off Kershaw tied it in the sixth. Kershaw gave up three runs in seven innings, ending an equally impressive streak of winning eight straight starts. He lost his previous four starts in St. Louis, the last two in the NLCS. Manager Don Mattingly said before the game that he had no doubt that bitterness lingered from Game 6 last fall when Kershaw was tagged for seven runs in four innings and the Dodgers were eliminated. Kershaw was booed before flying out to end the sixtth, a byproduct of dueling hit batsmen two innings earlier. Mohamed Salah Liverpool Jersey. Both benches were warned after Carlos Martinez drilled Hanley Ramirez in the shoulder and Matt Holliday was plunked by Kershaw leading off the bottom half. Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier had consecutive two-out RBI singles in the third to put the Dodgers up 3-1. The highlight of the Dodgers fruitless fourth was Kershaws first career stolen base -- his first attempt, too. Kershaw was running on a 1-1 pitch in the dirt and took second without a play with two outs and they loaded the bases before Adrian Gonzalez, who leads the National League with 37 road RBIs, flied out. Shelby Miller had made 50 consecutive starts over two seasons before entering in the sixth, and he was taken out after the first two Dodgers reached in the seventh. Coming out of the All-Star break, Miller was moved to the bullpen. NOTES: The Cardinals have a day off Monday before beginning a two-game interleague series against the Rays. Ace Adam Wainwright (12-4, 1.83) is set for Tuesday against Jake Odorizzi (5-8, 4.01) and manager Mike Matheny is undecided on a starter for Wednesday. ... Hyun-Jin Ryu (10-5, 3.44) starts for the Dodgers Monday against the Pittsburgh Pirates and Edinson Volquez (8-6, 3.65). Ryu is 6-2 with a 2.75 ERA on the road and 7-2 with a 2.88 ERA in nine starts against the NL Central. ... Kemp made an outstanding diving catch in left to rob Matt Adams of a bloop hit in the sixth. ' ' '